The Spiritual Journey of a Religious Rebel
In Faith & Defiance, Rabbi Cardozo opens a window into his soul to illuminate the twists and turns of his spiritual path. These essays blend existential reflection with candid self-inquiry, taking the reader through moments of defiance, conversion, re-conversion, and unending search for meaning in a life lived at the intersection of tradition and transformation.
This new extensive autobiography, divided into short chapters, is not a book of memoirs, but a window into my soul. Besides the request to write it, it was also an assignment I had to undertake because an inner voice told me to do so. I could not escape the challenge.
Judaism has taught me that external experiences are of little importance when they remain trivialities. However, when these trivialities can be transformed into ways in which one can meet God, then the finite becomes infinite.
Chapter 1
After living in the Orthodox community for some years, I became deeply disturbed by the fact that many Orthodox Jews were not spiritual in the slightest. They were secular Jews who happened to be observant. These were all very nice people, but they were guilty of religious plagiarism. One religious day was identical to the previous day, without any new encounter with the Divine and the Torah. Everything was “under control,” to the point that any novel spiritual and intellectual struggle was completely absent. But most disturbing was my realization that I myself had become guilty of this!
Chapter 2
No one can inherit religion, neither from one’s parents nor from one’s teachers. Only by embarking on a relentless quest for truth can we reap the rewards of personal discovery.
Chapter 3
As I reexamined my Jewish observance, I found that my dilemma was not about the existence of God per se but the practical consequences of this question in terms of determining an appropriate lifestyle. Pascal's wager asks "What is the correct way to live in case God exists?"
Chapter 4
This is Chapter 4 of my Contemplative Autobiography. It is the story of how I rediscovered—and continue to rediscover—what I believe to be authentic (Orthodox?) Judaism. It is the story of a search for deep religiosity and the re-engagement with Halacha, which I view as musical notes written by the Great Maestro to be played by each one of us on the strings of our souls. Â
Chapter 5
This is Chapter 5 of my Contemplative Autobiography. It is the story of how I rediscovered—and continue to rediscover—what I believe to be authentic Judaism. It is the story of a search for deep religiosity and the re-engagement with Halacha, which I view as musical notes written by the Great Maestro to be played by each one of us on the strings of our souls.
Chapter 6
I am taking the reader through the uncharted territories I traversed during my voyage of discovery. Only after I have taken the reader through the many mountains and valleys will I be able to reflect on my journey as a whole and attempt to articulate my holistic re-visioning of Judaism. I am guided by the Talmudic method of argumentation where ideas are raised and discussed; sometimes these ideas are accepted, while other times, they are rejected. There are instances where a final determination is never reached. At other times, the debate might suddenly continue many pages later or may even resume unexpectedly in a different Talmudic tractate altogether. It is in this spirit that this contemplative Autobiography is written.
Chapter 7
Rosenzweig was seeking to transform “the maximum of what is alien” into Judaism’s greater glory. The task of Teshuva is to convert negative aspects that are seemingly detrimental to Judaism into a positive force that can enhance Judaism. Can "hearing" other religions be part of this?
Chapter 8
My non-Jewish background allows me to understand the non-Jewish mindset and explain Judaism to those for whom it is entirely foreign.
Chapter 9
While the Greek narrative focuses on “seeing,” the biblical perspective focuses on “hearing” the deeper internal dimension that eludes the naked eye.
Chapter 10
Music touches the otherwise untouchable and intangible within us. It soars toward the infinite. When I listen to music, I feel like my feet are lifted off the ground and my soul is extracted from my body and starts to live a life of its own. There is no way to “prove” this feeling of transcendence, just as love cannot be proven. It belongs to an entirely different realm.
Chapter 11
My father constantly spoke about the famous, highly controversial philosopher Baruch Spinoza (1632-1677). Spinoza was raised in the Portuguese Spanish Jewish Community whose members had fled from Spain and Portugal to the Netherlands after the Inquisition in 1492, a fate shared by my own family. Spinoza's attacks against Judaism made me wonder what Judaism was all about and why he so strongly opposed it. Thus, paradoxically, it was Spinoza who set me on the road to Judaism.
Chapter 12
I am often asked whether I actually experience moments of God’s Presence. This is a difficult question to answer, because it relates to things that cannot be verified by conventional means. It touches on something that does not fall within the parameters of any other experience.
Chapter 13
The beauty of the human body in the eyes of another human is beyond comprehension just as God’s “splendor” is. However, when the beauty of the body is used for the wrong reasons it becomes vulgar, and the inner Divine beauty is exposed and violated.
Chapter 14
Traditions - and all their miniscule details - can be extremely important for a society, a city and a country. Traditions exist in all forms, many of these do not elevate man (and unfortunately there are those that denigrate him), while others have the power to transform one's existence and raise one to a different plane. Judaism is a religion of ideas, but more so a religion that is involved in the practical, day-to-day activities of man. Indeed, "God is in the details" - our law and traditions, right down to their finest details - define us.
Chapter 15
Our lives are filled with multiple events that impact us deeply. Some of these events are negative and have the potential of crushing our hopes and extinguishing the inner flame burning within us that motivates and drives us. And among these events there are circumstances we can change, and others we cannot. The correct perspective regarding the circumstances of our lives is not only the key to surviving but even holds within it the potential for our own growth and touching the lives of others.
Chapter 16
In Amsterdam of my youth there were many - Jews and non-Jews alike - who were in a similar situation to me: we did not perceive ourselves as belonging to any religion. Furthermore, we perceived those who were involved in religious practices as primitive and of inferior intellect. And yet, my family's social and cultural settings had quite a Jewish (without Judaism) flavor.
Chapter 17
We are Naught (cont.): The Real Meaning of Religion In memory of my dear friend Leo Meyers z.l., Amsterdam As I mentioned in the previous chapter, it became clear to me at a later stage of my life that most of those surrounding me did not properly understand the nature of science and its […]